Letting Go of the Old

Did you ever need a reset?

I do.  I’m in a slump as of late, and need to reset, regroup, and refocus.

I have come to a place in my life, where I’m seeing things more clearly, experiencing God’s presence and hearing Him speak to my heart in ways I have only dreamed of; and at the same time, I feel an anxiety in my spirit…a simmering frustration that occasionally bubbles up and spills out of my mouth in biting words I don’t really mean to say, and hot tears that defy my own ideas of stoic self-discipline.

I know that a large part of my problem is  my own “all or nothing” attitude.  I find something that I love to do, and all sense of balance goes out the window…I throw myself 100% into the new thing that I love, and forget to maintain the essential disciplines that keep my little world turning here.  Facebook, which was intended to be a TOOL to keep me in contact with my children, has turned into a vice for me.  I lose all track of time, and find it difficult to walk away…as a result, my relationships and responsibilities have suffered.  I think this is at least partiality the culprit in my bubbling anger…I’m irritated at myself, and feeling lazy and unmotivated to change, so I surf around on Facebook…escaping what I know I need to do, for the sake of one more article, one more comment, one more share…until I’ve wasted another afternoon instead of doing what I know I need to do.

Anyway, until I can find some semblance of self control again, I’m disabling my Facebook, and re-vamping my schedule to reflect a more balanced list of priorities.  I hope to be reading more and journaling again, which hopefully will lead to some new blog posts here.  My posts here will no longer show on Facebook, as my personal page there will be no more.  Please bookmark NewThings if you wish to follow.  I don’t know how long I’ll be MIA on FB, but would appreciate your prayers in the meantime.

Blessings.

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Balance

balanceThis word, how I wish for it, and chase it, and fail at it.  I call it the “b” word, because it is the nasty word that always springs up when I feel like I have lost it.  I’ve been thinking of this “b” word a lot lately, as I have time to think and plan, and dream.  I came up with an acronym for it, as a follower of Christ, I see “balance” being defined as the Beautiful Arrangement (of) Life Activities, Necessary Commitments, (and) Emotions.  It is the ability to arrange, prioritize, and joyfully accomplish the Lord’s calling and will for our lives.

In other words, if I’m happy at home, keep an immaculate house, have clothed and fed my family, but don’t follow through on the outside things I’ve committed to do, I’m imbalanced.  If I joyfully serve and busy myself with the Lord’s work, but neglect the needs of my family, I’m out of balance.   I can have the perfect plan, and can make it to all my appointments on time, but, if I’m out of control and angry all the time, I’ve lost that balance.  And it’s important to remember, that God has not called me to the same commitments to which he has called my sister, neighbor, daughter, or friend.  Comparing myself with them is an effort in futility, it will not get me where I need to be in accomplishing His will for my life.  My eyes need to stay on Him, for focus, balance and peace.

I would appreciate your prayers for the development of balance in my life…because this season of waiting is quickly coming to an end, and I’m going to need it!